This morning on my way to my OB appointment I passed by the city rescue mission as I always do and every time I do my heart is heavy as I see numerous Mama's and their babies walking out after having a place to actually sleep the night before. But this morning was different. As I drove by I saw a pregnant woman holding a cardboard sign that read, "Homeless, Hungry and Pregnant." My heart began to sink and the tears were flooding out of my eyes as they are doing now while I write this. I thought of all the people that were so engrossed in their day that they just drove by making harsh comments under their breath or making judgement of this lost soul. We tend to just drive by or walk by or stand by and purposefully not notice because it will mess up our day. We don't have time for others in need because of everything on our schedule for the day. We don't even stop to wonder, what if this person, this situation was put in front of me because God did it. He chose us to be the one to help this person, to show His love that He so freely gives us to this person in need. And as I drove by, I blew her a kiss and immediately began to pray for her. God used this woman today to remind me of the life I have been blessed with and how He chose this life for me and how I am supposed to live it.
Lately I have felt the Holy Spirit tugging at my heart in ways I have never experienced before. I used to wake up every morning thinking how I would start my day and look at my planner to see what was on the schedule. I would allow the chores, the schoolwork, the appointments and many other things control what I was doing that day. Every night that I went to bed and things were crossed off my list, I still felt like I had not accomplished anything. The truth is, I hadn't accomplished anything. Well I hadn't accomplished the things that should have been accomplished. I knew I was missing something. I was continuously feeling this void but couldn't quite figure it out. I began to pray in the mornings as soon as I got up, still looked at my planner but instead of looking at it like "it" controlled my day, I gave each thing to the Lord. I prayed that God would use each and every item on my to do list to bring glory to Him. I also prayed that if things had to change in the day, that He would show me the direction to take and to cancel things or move things around if need be. Trust me, this is a very difficult task for me. I am a complete control freak and the idea of not being in control of what my day would be like scares me in ways I cannot even express. The thing that scared me and still does the most about this is knowing that God really will put people in my life that need Him and will change my day around to further His kingdom.
Many of us are blessed. We have so much and forget why we have it and where it came from. We forget the purpose of our lives. I have a wonderful husband who loves me unconditionally, I have 3 beautiful, soon to be four children that light up my day with every smile they give me, I have amazing parents and an amazing sister who accept me for who I am and support me in my dreams, I have a roof over my head that keeps me safe and warm at night, I am able to wake up in the morning to a pot of coffee and to soak into God's Word, I have friends who care about me and support me in every aspect of my life. I could go on and on with the blessings God has given me. God has given me these things because He loves me and is using me to do His work. When I have those days where I want to think selfishly and complain about the little things in life, God will remind me of this day that I drove by the pregnant woman and I will get on my knees and thank the Lord for what He has so gracefully given to me. I go to bed with a different feeling of accomplishment now. I may not finish everything on my to-do list but I have focused my day on Christ and what He has in store for me. I surrender my life to you, my God and my Creator!